Saturday night out on the town with the girls. You find your group at an overfilled bar, packed so tight you are constantly unintentionally feeling the stranger up on your left and spilling your drink on your friend on your right. The music’s loud and you are definitely not drunk enough for this. You make your way towards the bar where you lean over and show the girls off in hopes to get some service. Instead of getting the attention of the bartender you seem to have caught the eye of the guy across the bar.
The encounter goes as you expect, he walks over introduces himself and offers you a drink. At this point you are frantically looking around to give one of your friends the panic symbol you planned out previously in hopes they come steal you away. But with no sight of your friends you are stuck chatting with James the investment banker. With no escape route planned you make the best out of the situation. You have your drink and begin talking. To your surprise he isn’t that bad, and after your 3rd drink with him his need to stand two inches away from your face isn’t so annoying.
With the night coming to an end you find yourself with a moral dilemma. Do you leave now and forget about James the investment banker or do you invite him back to your place for another drink? Under the influence of one too many vodka waters you decide that this stranger from the bar is worthy of a late night rendezvous.
Stumbling into your apartment and back to your room you and James have your first casual encounter. You share one of the most intimate moments you can with another person. The stranger from the bar is no longer so strange. But after the encounter is over he leaves, and that’s it. Back to strangers. Until the next weekend when he texts you at 2am asking if you’re up. Bored you reply, and in no time he is back in your bed an unfamiliar yet familiar place for him.
A very select few in this world can separate emotions from sex. For the majority of us with such encounters we can’t help but to feel something more than physical. This is why these casual encounters often lead to someone being hurt.
Being young and single in the city either starting out your career or studying at post secondary most young people find these no strings attached relationships easy and convenient. In theory they are. Having someone to call when you feel lonely but not having to commit to anything more than physical fun seems great. But when two people are involved with each other communication has to be open and honest to avoid sticky situations.
Growing up it will be hard to avoid these casual encounters, they have become the norm in the dating world so when you do find yourself meeting a potential casual encounter the best way to avoid accidental heartbreak is being open. Tell your partner from the first time you meet that you want nothing more than something physical. Because if one person gets attached it can only lead to hurt and disappointment.
So next time you’re swiping right on Tinder or taking a drink from a guy at the bar keep in mind that there are two sets of feelings and that you need to cater to both. So have fun and be single but be aware and be gentle, because if there is any bad karma that you want to avoid it is relationship karma.