Soulmates in unexpected places

Love has become our society’s most powerful drug. We are addicted to the idea of soulmates, something that you can obviously see when you turn on the television, walk down the street, turn on the radio, or just talk with a friend. We are constantly surrounded by the idea of love, which makes it nearly impossible to ignore.

When I first moved to the city I had a romanticized vision of being young and in love in a big city. I pictured myself and a boy walking hand in hand downtown trying all the new exciting restaurants, going on trips to the mountains and movie and ice-cream dates. I pictured myself with someone who wanted to do everything I wanted, someone who I was in tune with. This is what I imagined soulmates looked like.

The thing about laying in bed late at night giggling and smiling to yourself while making up these scenarios in your head is that the way you planned out your perfect date with the perfect guy rarely comes true. The guy you hope can help play out your fantasy turns out to be lactose intolerant, so you can’t try that trendy ice-cream shop you saw all over Instagram. You might find out he’s a broke student, and instead of tasting some of the cities finest menus you end up sitting in his dorm room on a Thursday night eating two-day old pizza and binge watching Family Guy. All of a sudden, you realize that maybe the soulmate you fantasized about for so many nights just isn’t out there.

This realization can be burdening. All of those Hollywood blockbusters that promised intense dramatic love seem to have lied to you, all of those love songs on the radio deceived you. The problem with those Hollywood films and love songs you hear on repeat is that they limit your idea of a soulmate. Who made the executive decision that your soulmate has to be a good looking guy who comes out of nowhere and sweeps you off your feet?

I have yet to meet someone who I am physically attracted to that understands me the way my best friends do. There are times when being single is lonely, when you are walking down the street and you see a couple out doing something that you once imagined you would be doing with that special person. What I have come to realize is that I don’t need a guy to help me make these dreams into a reality. When I want to try a new restaurant, go to a movie or just enjoy a walk in the park, my best friends are only a call away. We are best friends because we enjoy the same things, so I never have to worry about conflicting interests that stand in the way of going out and doing what I want.

I do believe that everyone has someone out there for them, but I also think that those people are designed to meet at a specific time. Right now I definitely haven’t met that person, but I won’t let that glue me to my couch every night waiting around for my soulmate to appear so I can go out and enjoy myself.

When I see a couple laughing over dinner or kissing goodnight after a date I sometimes feel a twinge of jealousy, but I am young and have so much time ahead of me that I won’t settle for just anyone. As said on the ever relatable Sex and the City, “maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”