An open letter to myself as exam season starts

Dear self,

I am writing this to you in the calm before the storm. Midterms have come to an end, but finals are just around the corner. I am writing to you in hopes of decreasing the number of times you call home crying and how many times you google “how to get rich without a degree”. And of course, I’d like to stop you from opening Expedia to book a one way flight to Bali only to close it once you remember you’re not only stressed but also broke with $23.74 in your bank account. Let’s make this exam season different.

I know no matter what I say some of your routines will always stay the same. You will inevitably find yourself laying in bed, uncomfortable from the A&W Teen Burger crumbs in your bed that you stress ate earlier, making a to-do list. As you start listing each paper and exam your heart begins to race and your stomach gets tight. Somehow your list keeps on growing, and all of a sudden you have lists of lists you have to make and sub-lists, and miscellaneous lists and overdue lists, and due now lists!!! You start to think that with the remaining amount of your student loans you have just enough to get a boob job, fake your own death and move across the world; because really who needs an education?!

You’re there, it’s come. The exam season stress.

Now we both know what you’ll do next. No you won’t shut your eyes and go to sleep, getting a good rest to be able to tackle your lists tomorrow. You get up and you deep clean your entire apartment, or you turn on Netflix in hopes to slip into another character’s reality in an attempt to escape your own, or like most nights you grab your phone and get so deep into Instagram you end up on one of your Tinder matches’ mom’s sister’s best friend’s profile. You somehow find every way possible to avoid the tasks laid out in front of you.

I think I need to confer with a psychology major about why you do this. But I know how you’re feeling. Presented with the stress of the tail end of this semester, the only way you know how to cope is avoidance. 

There has always been only one way this road ends, mid December will sneak up on you and along with multiple all nighters you pull in order to finish every paper and cram for every exam you will have 3-4 mental breakdowns.

So why don’t we avoid that this time? Instead of panicking to finish your paper before it’s 11:59 pm deadline, why not finish it 3 days before? So when that due date rolls around you can sit back feeling accomplished and feeling pity for the other students in your class who are sitting at their desks on their 4th cup of coffee cursing whoever decided APA had to be a thing.

Ya I know, that’s a long shot. But I just beg of you to at least give it a go. After you read this letter put your phone down and open a text book. Tick one thing off your ever growing list, every completed task will take a load off your shoulders.

I wrote this to you hoping it would make a difference, but being you (and I think I know you better than anyone) I know that this will most likely go in one ear and out the other. So in two weeks when you’re laying in bed on a Sunday afternoon on Pinterest pinning recipes that you’ll never cook instead of in the library researching your paper on communication theory, just remember that I warned you.